Tuesday, August 2, 2011

My Firstborn

This is a little late.  Though I started to write this for Luke’s July 2 birthday, July got very busy.  20 days in July we had various overnight guests in our house, which is a great kind of busy, but it meant that some goals did not get met.  So this entry is one month late, but still true! 

Happy Birthday to my firstborn child!  You are still my little baby boy, but somehow we are celebrating your eighth birthday.  How can that be?
Eight years (and one month) ago you came rather unwillingly into this world.  You were past your due date, so labor was induced early in the morning.  Later in the day, no amount of pushing could get you to budge, and so a c-section was performed so that we could finally meet you face to face!  I had loved you so completely for months already, but what an incredible moment to hold you, my first child, and look with wonder and amazement into your beautiful eyes, to hold you close, to nurse you, and to realize that my life would never ever be anything like it was before that moment.  You were born, and I became a mother, a job I am so very blessed to have been given! 


Every day of the eight years of your life, my love for you has grown.  I have not always (or ever!) been the perfect mother, and we have learned much together.  Sometimes I think that you are the victim of the majority of my parenting mistakes, since everything you do is new to us and I learn as I go along.  You get to do it all first!  But I am always reminded of so many reasons to be proud of you, so many ways that you have accomplished so much.

I love the way you so often have a single focus.  You become interested in something, and that’s all that you talk about and spend time learning about, at least until the next “something” comes along.  Very often your focus revolves around a movie, like Shrek, Toy Story, and most recently Cars 2.  Or it might be WebKinz, or Beanie Babies, or Magic Tree House, or Batman– whatever you are currently focused on you share with everyone around you!  You study up on it on the computer, you read all the books about it you can get your hands on, you give quizzes to everyone else about what you learn, and you center your birthday / Christmas list around the latest fad. 

I’m proud of the way you try new things, even when you are not really interested in them.  Sports don’t rank high on your list of interests, but you participate (with encouragement!) in several different sports.  You have learned a lot, and it is fun to see how much you have improved.  God has blessed you with many talents, and I pray that you will use them to serve Him, whatever you are led to do!

You have really started to enjoy writing stories, and they are such fun to read!  Yes, the topic is usually your latest fad, but you have a gift of imagination and have written some very entertaining stories!  It is fun to see your sense of humor come out in your writing.  I would not be surprised if someday your occupation involves writing. 

With you, my firstborn, I notice and marvel most of all at how you grow and change and develop.  Somehow you have become more responsible than you used to be.  Somehow, the way you carry on a conversation suddenly seems so much more grown-up.  Somehow, though I haven’t always noticed the process, things that were once challenging for you now come with ease.  When did it happen that I could no longer carry you easily?  When did it happen that my lap was no longer your preferred place to sit?  I learn to hold onto each hug just a little longer, to treasure each cuddle and kiss as they come, and pray that you will not ever grow out of such special moments!

You have had difficult times that I wish you had not had to endure, and you have had to learn things that I wish young boys never had to know.  I know it has affected you greatly to have to watch as your sister suffered from cancer and cancer treatments, and then died.  You are not one to talk openly or often about this and how you are feeling.  I wonder if you are afraid that sharing your pain and sorrow will cause more pain and sorrow for your dad and me.  I know that you do not like to see us unhappy or crying, so maybe you try to protect us from that by keeping your feelings to yourself.  We will continue to encourage you to talk as much as you need to, and I pray that we will be able to help you process all of this in the best way.  You were such a good brother to Anna, and showered her with love and kindness.  She loved you very much! 

My prayer for you is that the difficulties in life will make you stronger, will bring you closer to God, and will motivate you to make a difference with your own life.  You have many talents, and with God’s help and blessing you will accomplish much! 

My love for you continues to grow, and every day I thank God with all of my heart for blessing me with you, my firstborn. 

Happy Birthday!

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