A Picture speaks a thousand words…and lack of a photo leaves the story seemingly incomplete.

After Anna was diagnosed with cancer, I started taking a lot more pictures than was my norm.  Especially of Anna.  Deep inside, but always unspoken, lay the reason for doing this, the “just in case” photos are all I’d have someday, but covered with the rationalization that I could use these pictures to show Anna, when she was older and exceptionally healthy, all she had been through as a toddler.

So I’d snap away, and order my prints online, realizing when they’d arrive at our home that the number of photos of Anna was far greater than the number of photos of anyone or anything else.  It seemed like we had so many pictures of her!

At least it seemed that way until lately. 

I look at our photos of Anna regularly, though usually with a specific purpose, and only occasionally do I allow myself to deeply feel (i.e. fall apart) while studying these frozen moments of the past.  I’ve recently concluded that there are not enough pictures of Anna! 

Though many of her expressions were captured, though much of her attitude is obvious in many of these photographs, much is missing.  I have more in my memory than was ever captured on film, yet I long for the concrete evidence to be certain that those memories will never fade.  I mourn that the limited bits that have been captured will likely be all that her brother’s memories include.  I’m frustrated that anyone who has never met Anna but would like to know about her can never know her completely. 

I search the photos I have for just the right one for this project or that, and too often the one I am looking for doesn’t exist.  I know that sometimes this is because we were too busy enjoying her and treasuring every moment to be bothered with cameras, especially in her last months. 

So I treasure each photo we have.  I continually thank God for those who took photos of Anna and shared them with us.  What a treasured gift!!

Thought I'd share a sampling of those treasured Anna photos:

Finally, a quote I recently saw on the blog of a mom who recently lost a little boy.  The author is unknown.

The mention of my child’s name
May bring tears to my eyes,
But it never fails to bring
Music to my ears.
If you are really my friend,
Let me hear the beautiful music of his name.
It soothes my broken heart
And sings to my soul.